kEeP tHe ChRiSt In ChRiStMaS!!!

Surprise!



I made you a Christmas wreath with Roseanne Barr's face in the middle of it! You're welcome :)

KiDz DaY, Pt. 2: fav kiddie's books

"Once Upon A Potty" was always a favorite because of the illustrations, which were especially dumbed down and very silly to me. The little girl they used was particularly matronly, in my opinion. But I loved'er...








"Ferdinand" was always a favorite of mine. I read it at least 100 times as a child. This little bull sitting in the flowers is so cute because it reminds me of my boo, who is a Taurus. Not in that "bull vs. matador" way, but in the "Ferdinand just wanted to sit and smell the flowers" way. Sooooo cute! :)





"Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs" also occupied my attention for at least 3 years when I was little. I was especially fascinated with the pictures of the frosted sprinkle donuts rolling down the street.

I mean I actually read a ton (1 TON) when I was a kid, so there are a lot more books that I spent a fair amount of time with. I'll be sure to provide frequent updates. Maybe you'll actually be familiar with what I'm talking about :)

KiD'z DaY, Pt. 1:

I recently decided to try my hand at makin' sweet moolawley off of children's music/publishing, which lead me to re-explore some of my favorite childhood movies, songs, stories, and anything else I like to just sit back and reminisce about. So first, I stumbled across some very kooky videos of installments of this children's series called "Pancake Mountain," which is where super popular indie artists perform some of their "kid friendly" tunes for kids. This sounds cute and cool, but it's not really. It's more just weird. Watch this MIA one, for example:

and this Jenny Lewis one is just kind of awkward:

It's like the dancers and people were sort of uncomfortable because the kids seem sort of uncomfortable too. I just know that if I ruled the world, and I was in charge of Pancake Mountain, I'd make those artists write songs exclusively for the show and just record them instead of playing them live. Kids are weird and they're impossible to communicate with. They should just have their own country where they're isolated and they make their own music, then they wouldn't be so uncomfortable. Hey...that gives me an idea for a new series of blog posts titled, "If I ruled the world: Life on Pancake Mountain."

halloween in new orleans

I had the best halloween of all time last weekend when I was in New Orleans. Here's a brief summary:

1) Friday-Sunday: attended Voodoo Music Fest all three nights and saw some prime entertainment, including Chrissie Hynde (from the Pretenders), Ozzy Osbourne (gotta catch'em before he dies :( ), Quintron & Miss Pussycat, BoUnCe (aka Miss Freedia and some other sassy drag queens w/ KrUnK jamz/beatz--i don't know how else to explain that particular performance, but lemme tell ya, it was a spectacle), MGMT, Jonsi, My Name Is John Michael, Cage the Elephant, Metric, Teresa Anderson, Die Antwoord (from afar), aaannnddd I'm sure I'm forgetting some. Now let's cut to the fun stuff.

2) Sunday (HALLOWEEN NIGHT): my very responsible pal/guardian for the evening, who shall remain unnamed, very graciously accompanied me on my journey to the French Quarter. We got there by hopping into a taxi van w/ a group of middle-aged, but very harmless-looking men and women who were hoopin' and hollerin' and said they wouldn't mind sharing their cab because we were all going to the same place.

***keep in mind that my pal and I--let's call her "Shawday," for now--were both dressed up as zebras, which, in my opinion, really adds some razzmatazz to the entire evening***

3) we got in the cab, and our new friends were clearly "whoopin' it up" with a variety of "designer drugs," which they very freely offered to Shawday and I. After confirming that they weren't roofies, (given that the people were using the same stuff they were offering), I may or may not have accepted, as well as been invited by one of the men to hang out w/ their group for a short while after we arrived.

4) Turns out that these classy folks have a timeshare on Frenchman St. and go to it every Halloween. This was wildly entertaining to Shawday and I, so we agreed to accompany them to their glamorous timeshare, which overlooked all of the Halloween festivities on Frenchmen. After curious statements were uttered, such as, "My friend is a chemist," and, "pure MDMA," and, "are ya'll zebras, or cats?" I decided that as long as Shawday was going to be responsible, then that meant that I was allowed to be irresponsible. So I may or may not have accepted some "pure MDMA" (not really believing that it was pure MDMA), and we said our goodbyes to the kindest and least creepy strangers I've encountered, and made our way back down to Frenchmen Street.

5) 45 minutes later: my world transformed into a wonderland of colors and hysterical laughter and the most positive feelings ever...just try and imagine crazy-ass New Orleans on Halloween night--costumes galore, the street packed w/ people, all of the bars and places open w/ live entertainment blaring into the streets, and a pretty much constant parade going on...led by a robot.

6) Yes. A ROBOT: this was very intriguing to Shawday and I, so we followed this robot throughout the course of the night, meeting new friends along the way who were always eager to buy free drinks for two attractive zebra girls, so once 1 am rolled around, Shawday and I were good to go, and had found ourselves at a very classy (not) establishment called The Dragons Den...all thanks to the robot.

7) DRAGONS DEN: what ensued was--by far--the most intense several hours of wild dancing, debauchery, and effing AWESOME-ASS DUBSTEP dj'ing/music that I've experienced in my 23 years. It was amazing. pitch black. building shaking from the bass. mdma runnin' through my veins. (just kidding :/) no but really. i can't even describe how excellent it was. i just wanted to keep dancing. this went on til 3 am. by that time, Shawday's responsible side kicked in, so we hitched a cab ride back to her house and went to sleep and when I awoke the next morning, I felt amazing...and like a new person...and I was still covered in zebra stripes.

8) That's only like 1/4 of my experience there. That'll do for now though :)
9) If you look closely at the picture, you'll notice the smiling robot in the background...